Reading over my old blogs, there are tons of questions and very little answers. During that time of my life, I felt totally alone and lost. I cling to the hope that my life would get better and my anxiety would go away. I desperately wanted to know that my mental health would improve and I would get my old life back. Unbeknownst to me, it will never be the same.
I wanted to blog about my feelings, put them out into the world and see what others thought, instead of holding it all inside and being brave. Well, I am not that brave. I think to post my feelings after the fact is sad really. I was just tired of bottling up my feelings and trying to figure them out myself. I think really that is why I get so sick with anxiety and worry. Hence this blog. Trying to share more with the world, after it has given me so much. Continue reading →
I used to keep a journal about the random thoughts in my head that would repeat like loops in my mind. It would and could drive me crazy if it would let it. Things like. I should write those stories that I have always wanted to write since I was 8 years old. I should draw more; I should look for a job, something I can do from home. That is something I really want, I can do several things. Website Design, Blogging, resumes, and even make graphics. I just don’t know how to market myself. I am not good at selling myself. I have a great desire to help people, but no desire to get paid for it. Continue reading →
A dear friend of mine lost her father just recently. I tried to comfort my dear friend, it was hard to watch someone go through what I only experienced just a year ago. The pain of the loss of losing one of the most important people in your life. As I listened to her worries about how she treated her father and the things she might regret and as the tears swelled in her eyes. I tried to comfort her with words that somehow got me through my own big loss. Things like, ‘ I am sure your father loved you. ‘, and ‘He knows how much your relationship meant to him.’, ‘There is no wrong way to grieve.’ and a few others. I really meant them from the bottom of my heart. It sort of hurt me to see my friend this way. I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and let her cry. I have been there, and that is all I wanted when my dear mother passed away. I just wanted that freak-en huge hole in my heart to go away. A hug was all I wanted and needed at that time. Continue reading →