Yahoo 360 Blog – Part 3 Reflections

Rachel's Smiling Mug
Just a selfie of me with light makeup on and my favourite orange fall scarf. One of my favourite things.

Reading over my old blogs, there are tons of questions and very little answers.  During that time of my life, I felt totally alone and lost.  I cling to the hope that my life would get better and my anxiety would go away.  I desperately wanted to know that my mental health would improve and I would get my old life back. Unbeknownst to me, it will never be the same.

I wanted to blog about my feelings, put them out into the world and see what others thought, instead of holding it all inside and being brave.  Well, I am not that brave.  I think to post my feelings after the fact is sad really.  I was just tired of bottling up my feelings and trying to figure them out myself.  I think really that is why I get so sick with anxiety and worry.  Hence this blog.  Trying to share more with the world, after it has given me so much.   Continue reading

Quiet Thoughts from the Past

This was written on May 12, 2015 12:57 PM

Coffee Man

I used to keep a journal about the random thoughts in my head that would repeat like loops in my mind.  It would and could drive me crazy if it would let it. Things like.  I should write those stories that I have always wanted to write since I was 8 years old. I should draw more; I should look for a job, something I can do from home.  That is something I really want, I can do several things.  Website Design, Blogging, resumes, and even make graphics.  I just don’t know how to market myself.  I am not good at selling myself.  I have a great desire to help people, but no desire to get paid for it.  Continue reading

Remembering Mom

grief and butterflies

A dear friend of mine lost her father just recently.  I tried to comfort my dear friend, it was hard to watch someone go through what I only experienced just a year ago.  The pain of the loss of losing one of the most important people in your life.  As I listened to her worries about how she treated her father and the things she might regret and as the tears swelled in her eyes.   I tried to comfort her with words that somehow got me through my own big loss.  Things like, ‘ I am sure your father loved you. ‘, and ‘He knows how much your relationship meant to him.’,  ‘There is no wrong way to grieve.’ and a few others.  I really meant them from the bottom of my heart. It sort of hurt me to see my friend this way.  I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and let her cry.  I have been there, and that is all I wanted when my dear mother passed away.  I just wanted that freak-en huge hole in my heart to go away.   A hug was all I wanted and needed at that time. Continue reading